Whether you’ve been in a relationship or not, we’ve all suffered a case of the green-eyed monster. You know what I’m talking about - jealousy. We’ve all been there and it’s nothing to be ashamed of because there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be a better version of ourselves when compared to others. However, it becomes negative when we become overly envious without justification. We’ve talked about jealousy before and where it often stems from. Most of the time, jealousy grows from insecurities and vulnerabilities. However, how do we use that knowledge and put it to good use for our relationship?
You’ve probably visited your partner’s ex’s Facebook or Instagram page at least once in your relationship lifetime. Or you may have noticed a text message on your partner’s phone from someone you don’t recognise. Basic human instinct tells us to panic and become paranoid, thinking the absolute worse of this. Most of these thoughts result in ‘I’m being cheated on.’ Let us tell you why this is the most damaging thing you could do for your relationship.
We believe in the phrase ‘innocent until proven guilty’ - if the situation were reversed, you would want your partner to give you the benefit of the doubt as well. Causing conflict and immediately jumping to conclusions will show your partner that you don’t trust them at all and relationships are based on a strong foundation of trust. Trust in a relationship doesn’t simply mean being faithful to one another. The symbol of trust equates to being able to rely on each other, feeling safe physically and emotionally when in each other’s presence and having confidence in one another. Building trust takes years of hard work and effort however breaking that trust can take less than 1 second. Before you accuse your partner of anything you’re unsure of, remember that you are breaking their trust as well.
Nobody likes to feel that they are owned by another human being. Jealousy can easily come off as being possessive and needy. Acting in a controlling manner is a big emotional turn off and will become a problem in your relationship. Instead of being possessive, it’s much easier to be open and communicative. Sitting down and calmly discussing the issue is the best possible way to relieve any doubts, tension and anxiety because you have invested so much into your partner, they will definitely understand where you are coming from. Simply put, controlling and possessive actions and words only equate to a damaged relationship. Open and honest communication not only mends your insecurities, it also rebuilds your relationship.
As much as you love your partner, there’s always room for resentment, especially when you feel your partner has wronged you. Being paranoid and jealous isn’t only hurting yourself, it puts your partner through stress and anxiety as well whereby they start to doubt the entire relationship altogether. ‘Why should I be with someone who doesn’t even trust me?’ At the same time, you’re also resenting your partner for possibly cheating on you. This kind of resentment builds over time and eventually explodes which can only result in a damaging break up that will only do more harm than good.
Being able to eliminate jealousy from your relationship is a step forward in building and strengthening your journey to love. You should be able to trust, respect, support and love your partner without having feelings of envy or doubt. Always think about your actions and remember to communicate with your partner.