Dating is definitely not easy but, it doesn’t mean it can’t be exciting, exhilarating, and fun sometimes.
There can be a lot of pressure when you are trying to make a good first impression with
someone. Although well-intentioned friends will most commonly advise you to “just be yourself,” it actually is not all that easy to be that person our family and friends know and love while attempting to date, that’s because when you are on a first date there is only a limited amount of time for you to make a good first impression.
We’ve put together 5 basic first dating mistakes that you may like to avoid. Sometimes it may be easier to be mindful to know what you shouldn’t do on a date than it is to brainstorm and come up with things that you should do.
1. Appearing uncomfortable and fidgeting
Yes, this can be very hard because on the inside you most likely are nervous. Being nervous is normal, however, both women and men find the confidence to be very appealing. The old saying of “fake it until you make it” works in this situation. If you appear to be uncomfortable then it will make your date feel that way too. Don’t forget to keep eye contact, smile, and keep that most likely your date is nervous as well. There is one big
disclaimer that comes with this advice. Confidence is sexy, but cockiness definitely is not.
2. Not taking at all or excessive talking
Many people have the nervous habit of wanting to fill in silence since they find it uncomfortable. However, all this does is make things even more uncomfortable. Even on fantastic dates, it is normal for there to be a slight lull in the conversation where no one is talking. It is natural for this to occur and can be a good thing and allow for flirtatious eye contact or a brief smile. Clamming up, on the other hand, can make your date uncomfortable. Architect and business owner Sally Holbrook highlights, “Dating is the same as any day to day interaction, whether it be a job interview, a work meeting or even a chat with friends. Try to keep the conversation as balanced as you can so that one person is not dominating it.” If you find you are becoming too quiet, be sure to ask some questions to find out more about your date. That will not only make the person feel good but can also give you the chance to really get to know each other.
3. Talking about ex-loves
Of course, we all have a history. However, talking about past loves that went wrong while on a first date is a huge turnoff. You might have good intentions or think that it somehow fits into your conversation, though there is nothing worse than having to listen to somebody’s sob story that you potentially are interested in. Counsellor Sandra Ryan says, “After you have been dating someone for a while it can be a very healthy
thing to discuss past relationships to some extent. However, it is not necessary to rush into it and definitely is not appropriate to talk about while on a first date.”
4. Talking about your baggage
Everybody has baggage or a breakthrough, trauma, or event that has had a significant influence on them in some way. Although this is completely normal and shows true strength in character if you are able to talk about how you were able to overcome those obstacles, a first date may not be the appropriate time to have this type of conversation. Experts from a Sydney rehabilitation and addiction centre explain, “Past
trauma can be a really difficult topic for a lot of people, and many may not be equipped to respond properly to what they hear.” So it is important to keep things fun and light.
5. Go home together
If you have a good date you might be tempted to turn it into a sleepover. Try your hardest not to do this. Everyone has probably had the experience of having an exciting connection with someone while on a
date that can lead to seeking out a connection that is even deeper (frequently a physical one), but it can be a big game-changer when you get intimate right away. When you jump into bed right away with someone it can take all of the mystery away and those fragile beginnings to a relationship are lost and can be completely torn to shreds. Everybody moves to the next stage of a relationship at their very own pace, that’s why it’s important to take things slow and easy. Hooking up on the first night can create future problems across the board, you will be very happier to build an emotional connection first rather than to a physical one if you are looking for something long term.
If you are able to avoid these common first-date mistakes, you might finally find the woman or many of your dreams😍
