How to Be Single During Holidays – A Guide by Vital Partners
Spending holidays alone during the festive season can be particularly trying if you’ve been single for a while or just recently. At this time of year, we are more likely to catch up with friends and family who may mostly be in relationships, and you may be dealing with questions from relatives about why you’re still single. It’s okay, Vital Partners are here to help you navigate those situations.
Why are you still single?
It’s likely not the first time you have heard this question, but if you are sensitive to the topic, it’s best to prepare some responses in advance. We particularly like responses that lead the conversation to a different topic. Consider some of these approaches.
- ‘I have been looking but just haven’t found the right person. Online dating doesn’t
make it any easier.’
- ‘I want to focus on my studies/career this year, and I don’t need the distraction or drama.’
- ‘I am thinking of changing my career/starting a new course this year, and I want to work that out as a priority.’
- ‘I am saving up to take some extended leave and travel overseas this year. It’s not a good time to start a new relationship. Have you ever been to Italy/Mexico/___?’
- ‘I am thinking of taking a role overseas/interstate. I may meet someone new if that happens.’
- ‘I’m not ready to start a new relationship at the moment. What goals do you and [insert partner name] have planned for the new year?’
I didn’t know you broke up! What happened?
Again, be prepared. Decide how you want to respond to any questions about your breakup. It’s your choice how much of your relationship story you want to share and who you want to overhear that. A consistent and straightforward response could be something like this;
‘Even though being single is an adjustment, I learned a lot about myself and the type of person I want to be.’ Change the topic at this point, or you may like to add, ‘Let’s catch up for a coffee sometime in private, and I will tell you more about it – and you can tell me if you know anyone I should meet!’.
If spending holidays alone at a certain event is causing you anxiety, give yourself permission not to attend. You may need to let people know that you are taking the opportunity to catch up with some old friends or travel during the holidays and experience Christmas interstate/overseas.
When you are planning your diary, keep your options open. If a particular event is upsetting you, leave early and tell people that you are also looking forward to catching up with friends today. Many family members will wish they could go with you!
When you still need to see the ex
Not every break-up is the end of communications with an ex; perhaps you wouldn’t want it to be. This season may challenge those recently separated from long-term relationships and with co-parenting responsibilities. It’s best if you can schedule to have your children with you at your family events.
When you have worked out and agreed on the logistics of children over the holidays, you will find yourself in times of being alone when you normally would have been a family. Instead of spending holidays alone, these are the events and days that you need to schedule in plenty of other activities. Invite a friend, go out with different friends, or sign up for an online course or new activity. Keep yourself busy and entertained. You can do some of these activities alone if that’s what you enjoy but be sure to plan some distractions.
When you need to interact with your ex, consider that they may be experiencing the same feelings you are. Even if they are already in a new relationship, things will also be different. Be diplomatic and kind in your own way. Then go with a smile on your face and do some of those things you already have planned.
Remember, you already manage this.
Finally, let’s talk about how to nurture yourself. It’s not as though being single during holidays is the only time you think about your relationship status. When you are still searching for a life partner, we know it takes energy and self-resilience most days to stay positive.
As always, acknowledge your feelings of loneliness – spending holidays alone is tough, and you’re doing great at working through this period. Of course, it can feel even more pronounced if your work has wound down for the year and you are not in your usual weekly routine. Like most days, look for opportunities to distract yourself from lonely thoughts and keep busy. With more people on holidays and more social gatherings taking place, look to extend yourself outside of your normal routine and social circle.
Being single during holidays can also be a great opportunity to meet someone! Be open to attending different events and reaching out to other single friends and single co-workers about what they may be doing. Singles tend to congregate at this time of year and consider it a great time to meet someone new.
Want more great content and relationship inspiration like this? Visit Vital Partners now!
If you are single and ready for real love, get in touch with the team at Vital Partners now or call (02) 9017 8400. Contact us today!
