What A Woman WANTS - 10 Things To Know
Have you struggled in your past relationships? Do you wish your last relationship never ended? Are you confused about why she broke up with you?
Ask yourself how you would score against these ten things women want in their partners.
- Being Present
Are you really listening to your partner when they are trying to have a conversation with you? You just got home from work, and your mind is still in the work zone. The big footy game is about to start on TV, and you want to get showered asap. When your partner wants to talk to you, that’s a sign that they missed you and want to connect. So, if you’re too distracted, you must let her know. Say, I am so sorry that I am a bit distracted right now. Give me 5 minutes to jump in the shower and get my mind off work, and then I’m all yours (and yes, you can stream the game together afterwards).
- Communication
Now that she has your undivided attention, you need to talk too! Studies over the last 30 years have consistently shown that women are better at communicating compared to men, from being better at listening with empathy to having a broader vocabulary. The thing is, it doesn’t matter which words you use if you open up your heart to sharing your feelings with your partner. Women don’t want to constantly ask, ‘What are you thinking?’. we know it sounds needy. We don’t want to be needy! So, if your girlfriend asks you this question, take it as a wake-up call! You need to share your thoughts and feelings more! Practice it – do it every day. A partner that can communicate their emotions is what a woman wants.
- Being Connected
When thinking about what women want, ask yourself a few questions. How do you feel connected to your partner? Is it about touch, mental connection, or emotional support? The answer is doing all three consistently. That means you notice when your partner is sad, happy, or angry – and you don’t shrug and ignore it. You ask them about it. See if they need to feel supported by you. Show them some empathy. The role of an active listener is not to solve problems for people. It’s just to show that you are a good listener. Finishing off the conversation with a hug (or more) reinforces your connection.
- Be a team
You don’t need to ask permission to catch up with your mates or to agree to help your mum fix a tap leak. What women want is for you to think about them before you say, ‘Yes!’. ‘Sure, I will come to fix your kitchen sink, Mum. I will check in with Maya and let you know when I can get there.’
Honestly, it’s not difficult. This is one key sign to a woman that you ‘get’ that you are in a real relationship and that their opinion is the most important one to you. And, if it’s not – then that’s a strong hint to you that you may not be ready for a committed relationship, which isn’t what a woman wants.
- Softness
It’s a common misconception that men think all women want a strong, buff, life-of-the-party, tough guy. What we want overall is almost the opposite. A man who is slow to temper, kind and gently spoken, intelligent and caring is the kind of man we want to be with for the rest of our lives. It means you are secure in yourself, and that is sexy. That tells us you are reliable, strong, resilient and someone we want by our side. Showy and emotionally erratic is a huge turn-off that will have smart, confident women running for the hills.
- Take action
What women want is for you to show your feelings loud and clear. Bring home a bunch of flowers, a favourite chocolate treat from the supermarket. On the weekend, take her to a new café you heard about or a surprise picnic. Buy those concert tickets, book the babysitter, and let her know you’re taking her out next month and that it’s all been organised. Don’t sit on the sidelines (or the lounge). Show your romantic side and give us a surprise every few months.
- Do you know what’s going on?
Ok, we’re going to get feminine now. Do you know what your partner’s menstrual cycle is? Let us do you a favour with a quick 101.
The menstrual cycle, on average, is about 28 days (say, one month). It starts on the first day of your partner’s period. Don’t engage in stressful, intense decision-making conversations the week before her period. You will have more success and fewer potential arguments if you wait!
The average length of a period (bleeding) is five to seven days. During this time, be patient and ask your girlfriend if she needs anything. Bring those flowers and favourite treats home for her unexpectedly.
Once her period is over, these are the weeks to arrange those higher energy pursuits, like exercise, in and out of the bedroom. That’s probably the least that you really need to know. Aside from this, menopause (when a woman no longer has period bleeding) usually occurs around 51 years of age.
- R.E.S.P.E.C.T
As Aretha sang, “All I’m askin’ is for a little respect”. Well, actually, change that to a lot of respect. How do we know that you respect us?
- What a woman wants is for you to respect her opinion. You don’t always have to have the same opinion, but don’t dismiss hers. Discuss your opinions and preferences evenly and equally.
- Respect her boundaries. There are some absolute non-negotiables for every single person, and when you’re in a relationship, you’re spending time working those out together. This can include boundaries during sex, how many times a day you phone or text each other, what’s acceptable to each of you when you go out with your friends, what time you will be home, and how much affection you want to display in public.
- Work it out
Do you yell and storm off during an argument? Stop! What women want is for you to want to work it out. At these most vulnerable times in a relationship, we need to know that our relationship means so much to you that you won’t just walk out on this disagreement. And you won’t just give up and walk out on us one day.
If you need to cool down, say, “I just need a few minutes to get my feelings under control and sort out my thoughts. Let’s continue this conversation in five minutes. I know it’s important to us both”.
Seriously, if you said this with a hug or holding her hand, you might find that’s almost enough to forget what the argument was even about! And yes, if you manage disagreements with love and respect, you’ll both have lots of fun making up afterwards.
- Think about it
There’s always a reason for the way your girlfriend is behaving. What women want is for you to try to understand why we’re acting the way we are and acknowledge that. Try opening the conversation with, ‘I noticed you seem a bit quiet. I just want to check that everything is ok and make sure I haven’t done something to upset you?’ Just noticing her feelings and inviting her to be open and share with you is perfect.
So… how would you score yourself out of ten? Do you have a better understanding of what a woman wants? If you’re an eight or over, then your last girlfriend is missing out, and you only need to work on two more things to be an absolute catch!
At Vital Partners, we’re here to guide you through every stage of your romantic journey. Let us help you find that special person who will enrich your life.
