One of the biggest issues when it comes to relationships is the confusion between feeling lust and feeling love. Both feelings are so closely intertwined that when we’re stuck in a moment, we tend to mix them up.
Lust
Lust can be defined as having a strong desire for someone – often physical but it can definitely be emotional as well. People often mistake lust for love when they feel lonely or when they haven’t been in a relationship for a while and want that special attention.
Lust is often fueled by an idealisation and therefore, romanticise your date for what you want them to be, instead of how they really are. Lust is based on sexual attraction rather than getting to know someone on an emotional level.
Signs of lust include:
- Purely attracted to someone because of their appearance
- You’re in it for the physical aspect rather than getting to know them
- You’re always veering away from talking about real feelings
- You’re great lovers however there is no friendship
Love
Love is hard to define, however it is a strong feeling of affection for someone. It covers all bases – from attraction to mental, from social to emotional. Some people can mistake love for lust when they’re in fear of letting people into their lives. Falling in love can take some time and effort as you’re trying to reveal yourself to someone else.
Signs of love include:
- You’re interested in each other’s feelings, making sure that happiness is key
- You partake in long conversations without getting bored or thinking of the physical aspect
- You’re best friends on top of everything else
- You can tell each other everything without feeling ashamed or judged
It’s extremely easy to get tangled into a web of lust and love – if you’re in lust, be aware of the signs and know that both you and your date aren’t in this for stability but purely for the passion and fire. Falling in love actually happens over time, so it may be lust at first but it can also lead to love – a common misconception is that people who are lustful cannot find love. Remember that love is a self-discovery journey, you will begin to learn more things about yourself than ever before and whilst you want to find a relationship or someone to fall in love with, it’s important to understand that it all stems from self-love first. So be patient with yourself and if that lust turns into love, you’re in for a passionate, affectionate and trustworthy relationship.
