Online Dating: The Blessing or The Curse of the Modern World

Internet dating services were introduced in the 1990s and increasingly serious love connections have since come out of them. Today, Tinder alone matches 26 million people every day. Some users of online dating services have nothing but great experiences that end in satisfying relationships. Other users, however, have stories filled with frustration and confusion.

Just like is the case with other approaches to dating, meeting people online has its pros and cons. So, how can you date online successfully?

Read on to find out how through the following series of questions and answers!

Is it actually possible to determine whether a person has chemistry with you or not through an online conversation?

Body language and vibes are the two key indicators that point us either towards or away from a person.

Body language includes eye contact, tone of voice, facial expressions, as well as how the person moves their hands and arms over their face and chest, their head on their neck and shoulders, how they position their legs.

On the other hand, vibes aren’t as tangible. They are simply signals sent by a person as well as how different people perceive them differently. You can describe vibes as pleasant, cheerful, and good, or negative, uneasy, and dark.

It is impossible to “read” a person’s body language in an online conversation, particularly one that doesn’t involve the use of a live camera. However, it is possible to feel the person’s vibes. You can feel if they are dull, serious, upbeat, or funny.

Experts from MancaveIdea say, “First impressions matter. And the best way to make a good first impression is through external accessories like clothes, trinkets that showcase your personality.” 

It is rather common for people today to use online dating apps like Tinder for meeting many people. Is it a good idea to have multiple conversations happening at the same time, or should you pick a handful of people to talk to?

It is actually perfectly normal to start talking to several people at the same time. However, as the number, and quality of those conversations increase, it would be incredibly difficult to keep juggling, unless you aren’t serious about dating.

Just as is the case in real life, some people prefer being elusive and keeping as many options as possible open; in the online world; you will still come across people that just love to chat and flirt with no serious end in mind.

When it comes to the proper number of conversations that you should be having, there is no absolute right or wrong advice, but it is only ethical not to lead people on and promise things that you can’t deliver.

If the other person was nice and everything, but was not given a lot to work with, you were always the one leading the conversation, and then you started getting bored, do you just cease talking to them or point it out and risk making the person feel self-conscious?

People are sometimes shy, but with a bit of encouragement and patience, even a shy person should warm up to you eventually. On the other hand, others are completely lost and literally don’t know what they are doing or why they are actually talking to you. If that’s the case, just back off. If you come across people that are “not that into you”, it is highly advisable that you slow down.  If you feel bored, take this feeling seriously. It is a sign that “the relationship” isn’t on track.

When is the right time to go on a date with a person that you met online?

It doesn’t matter whether you go on a date immediately or after several chats. There’s no correct timing to take an online relationship to the real world. 

That said, it is important to understand that people online aren’t exactly the same as when you meet them in real life. A smooth chat online can be something completely different after meeting for a cup of tea. So, the best advice would be to organize a physical meeting with a person that you met online within the shortest time possible to avoid emotional traps and disappointment.

Experts from Gary Hamer Interior Design say, “When it comes to dating and relationships, the interior matters. To identify the interior, online dating is not enough. You have to meet outside as soon as possible and get it over with.”

The worst emotional trap would be to fall in love with the online version of the person but be unable to even like the person in real life. Turnoffs can be as silly as how the person laughs, eats, drives walks, smiles, cares for their teeth, keeps touching their earlobes, rubs their palms, etc.

Safety should always be the most important consideration when meeting a person. Always stick to public places at an appropriate time of the day for the first several meetings. Eat together, see how the check is being handled, and ensure that you go in separate vehicles. Needless to say, whether you are offline or online, don’t provide anything that can be used to blackmail you later such as text messages, voice notes, pictures, videos, etc.

What are the red flags you need to look out for?

If you are online, watch out for discrepancies, lies, people that agree with everything that you have to say, and relationships that seem “too good to be true”. Always remember that if something is too good to be true, it is either not true or not good.

Keep in mind that people that love talking negatively about their previous partners, exes, friends, and other dates will eventually say similar things about you. Counsellors from CogniAcademy say, “The way people talk about their past, especially people in their past speaks volumes about the type of person they are. Always pay attention to what people talk about and how they talk about their lives and people around them.”

Beware of a person that you don’t have common friends with since it is quite probably a fake profile. 

If you start meeting or talking on the phone, watch out for signs that the person is married and hiding it, or dating and playing around. The clearest sign is their unavailability at certain times such as at night, during weekends, after working hours, etc.

The best advice is to slow down and remember that trust has to be earned and not just given automatically.

With that said, online dating can be a curse and blessing at the same time. It really depends on the amount of effort that you put in into your online dating life. But if you want to get your dating life sorted out, contact us today and we’ll help you find the perfect match for you… all based on your needs and preferences. 

Lots of luck!