Ten things men want

Do you feel like you’ve been unlucky in love? Have you had trouble finding that committed partner? Are you confused about why your last boyfriend broke up with you?

As professional matchmakers, we have many conversations with male clients about what they are seeking. Here’s our top ten list, just for you lovely single ladies out there who are looking for a long-term partner.

1. Honesty and transparency – what you see is what you get

Ladies, if a man is a good catch, he’s not interested in smoke and mirrors. He wants to know the real you – not who you think you should be with him. It’s okay not to be perfect. Before you get those extra-long fake lashes, put on that extra layer of foundation – ask yourself, “Who is it for?”. As a discerning dating agency, the accomplished men we meet with don’t like these signs of a woman ‘trying too hard’.

You also don’t need the perfect personality. No one can truly be perky and happy every day. That would just be fake, and fake gets caught out.

Don’t hide things from men. If you’re not being authentic initially, you will not be considered a potential long-term partner.

2. Trust

Men value trust in their relationships. Can you be relied upon to be honest, even about minor matters or white lies? For instance, imagine you’ve purchased a new dress, but instead, you claim you’ve had it for a while. It might seem trivial, but these instances reflect your trustworthiness to a guy. Perhaps there’s something you’re not entirely proud of. In such cases, men actually appreciate the truth, even if it’s not the most flattering.

3. Freedom

The kind of freedom that men desire in a relationship involves feeling respected and having a voice. They don’t want to be controlled or treated like children. Certainly, men appreciate being cared for and supported. However, if you’re attempting to manipulate your boyfriend by trying to persuade him to see things your way, it’s not a healthy approach. Believing that you can alter his opinions or behaviours might come across as manipulative.

A secure and confident man seeks a relationship without pressure to change. Men prefer partners who accept them for who they are. For example, if he enjoys meeting his friends at the pub once a week, that’s his personal choice. Still, it’s essential to communicate about what’s acceptable to you. Otherwise, you can accept his choices or decide if the relationship aligns with your needs.

4. Respect

Well, let’s just say it. The Ego is a real thing. It’s not right to say that all guys need their ego’s stroked. So, we won’t say it. In our experience of matching single men and women – we all want to feel respected. That can mean that whilst a man may not be a doctor or a lawyer, he wants to be respected for the work he does. If he’s stable, paying his bills, and looking after his business, tell him how much you respect that about him. This also applies to disrespect. Don’t use him as the centre of your public or private jokes. There’s no faster way to end a relationship than if he feels you don’t respect him – particularly publicly.

5. Take me as I am

Ladies, there’s nothing wrong with showing your boyfriend how great he would look in a collared shirt and dressy shoes. Please do not put him down in the process of wanting him to dress up every now and then. The same goes for how he talks, walks, eats, drives, etc etc. Your partner is not your project. Take him as he is and show him you like him just the way he is. If not, then do the right thing, and move on.

6. Be secure

Needy and insecure women are a turn-off. Sure, now and then, a guy likes to feel like he’s your rock. To feel needed and like you appreciate his support. But this gets tiring if it’s happening every few days.

One of the first things we do at Vital Partners when we meet with new clients is to chat about who they are and their past. It’s not unusual for us to suggest to a new client that they may want to work out how to move on from their last relationship and work on their own happiness and confidence – before they embark on engaging us as their dating agency.

7. Ambition

What are your goals and dreams? Women who clearly articulate what they want in life, where they’re headed, and their plan to get there, are sexy. Guys don’t want someone riding on their coattails. If he is a confident and accomplished man, he’s not looking for a woman who needs to be rescued (and dare we say, ‘a gold digger’).

Be clear about what you want to achieve in life and that you want someone to be your partner on that journey. It could be as simple as sharing, “I want to buy a two-bedroom unit in the city and a loving partner to travel the world with. What do you want?”

8. Able to be vulnerable

Society still expects men to be strong, macho and unemotional. The fact is men need to feel loved and secure with their partner. A man wants someone that he feels safe with. A woman that he can be open with about his feelings. Guys sometimes want to share their secrets, fears and heartbreaks without being judged negatively for that.

9. Physical connection

Much of what we have spoken about so far is about feelings and how you treat each other. Let’s get physical. It’s a fact that physical intimacy provides a connection that is imperative for men. If your man reaches for you, acknowledge that bid for affection. It can be holding hands, hugging, or sitting close to each other on the lounge. It’s not always about sex. Let your man know how he can make you feel special, and how that leads to your stirrings of desire.

10. Listen and understand

Could you listen to his needs? When a man feels heard and understood, he starts to feel secure. Guys want to feel secure in their relationship too. If he can see that you understand what he needs and that you want to recognise those needs, then you will be a potential long-term partner. Equally, he wants to see that you go after what you need in life and that you can talk about that with him. Show that you are secure with him and how he likes to live his life.

So… what truths did our article highlight about your past relationships?

Visit Vital Partners  for more relationship inspiration and content.

Vital Partners, are matchmakers with a difference. We’re here to guide you through every stage of your romantic journey. Let us be the dating agency to help you find that special person who will enrich your life.